Welcome to my site! My name is Kia and ovbiously, I love to write.

I’m so proud of this article I wrote for Pulp Legacy, i had to put it in my blog too…

Never Underestimate a Good Chili Dog!!

By: Kia Tyler

I can only hope you all have had a chance to laugh even half as much as I have over the past few months!

Now I know that everyone always wants to be the first one to pipe up with the word “Mine!” whenever someone asks who the cutest kids ever are, so I won’t even start that argument…(even though it’s mine, lol) However, allow me to explain why there is never a dull moment in the Tyler household.

Ever since before he was born, my son Devon has a way of putting a smile on anyone’s face. He started his career as a comedian early on in utero when he drove my doctor nuts trying to figure out his sex..it took four appointments and a very frustrated doctor to get past his in-utero shenanigans of cleverly placing a leg or foot exactly where we should have been able to see his bits n pieces.

It didn’t stop there, I felt comfort holding little stuffed animals for some reason, mostly a small soft soccer ball I used to place on my belly for him to “play” with. He would kick it until it rolled off every single time. Very entertaining at parties, when I was forced to make my own fun as I (and every other pregnant lady is doomed to be) was always appointed the party’s DD and keymaster.

After he was born, there was still never a dull moment. His first little car was cute…for a while. He could screech at the top of his lungs (and still can) for minutes at a time to simulate “burn out” and then finally tear across the room at light speed in which case the car would suddenly become a flying car. When he realized he could make people laugh, it’s been constant moments of comedy, laughter, and embarrassment as we work hard to fake some sort of sternness when punishing the kid. But let me tell you, sounding angry at this kid while stifling a roar of laughter is my biggest challenge with my boy. He’s four now, and has the sense of humor of a 30-year old. He’s great.

So it came as no comedic surprise the day of my birthday (September 2^nd) when I traditionally asked my kids what they wanted to be for Halloween. Over the next 8 weeks, my daughter would change her mind at least 12 times, (just like her mom) but when I asked every few days what they wanted to be, my son would pipe up loud and clear—“Mom, I wanna be a CHILI-DOG!!”

No Lie. Seriously. My son wanted to be a chili dog for Halloween. Now you see why I asked him so many times after the shocking and hilarious first time I asked.

Well, we busted a gut several times after and it became a running joke. Any grown up who asked what he wanted to be for Halloween got the same hilarious answer.

And then finally, the day arrived. As is tradition in my family, we went out for dinner, got ice cream, and headed to the costume shop. For my cute little indecisive daughter, who by this time had chosen fireman, fairy, Sonic the Hedgehog, Princess Leia, Tinkerbell, Cowgirl, vampire, and most recently, and Carly from iCarly, it was still anybody’s’ guess. But for my son, the decision was still clear in his mind. They were out of fake chili, which disappointed him, but that didn’t keep him from making Halloween history:

(By the way, my daughter was planning on being Spongebob before she went into the costume store.)

Now for the Movies:

I’ve been back and forth to the movies for some decent films and some horrible ones as well.

Behold, my adventures:

First, I’ll start with Inglorius Basterds.

This was a long-awaited film for many, not just myself. As soon as I heard it was being made I followed the production like a movie buff possessed. I was excited to see what Tarantino did with the controversial subject matter he had chosen. I was as afraid for him as I was excited as I saw it come to pass. The story is a fantastical “what if” situation for something we have all imagined a dozen times but just never had several million dollars and an awesomely scary cast at our disposal to bring it to life. The story follows several characters, as all Tarantino films do, most notably a young girl who’s family is slaughtered by Nazi soldiers in Nazi-dominated France. The young girl is a strong character, bent on revenge, which is always the case with Tarantino films, and one of the reasons I adore him. (Anyone who has read my work knows this, as I always have had an affinity for strong female leads. I can only hope my novel will introduce a new awesome female superhero.) The other main story line follows an elite unit of trained Nazi-slaying badasses notably named the Basterds, who’s ultimate goal is to strike fear in the heart of Hitler by turning the tables and committing some merciless killin’ and ass-whoopin’ of epic proportions. To make it even more disturbing, Brad Pitt gives a grand cartoony performance as Lt. Aldo Raine, the leader of this ragtag group of soldiers, and takes delight in his job, even inducting an assignment to his soldiers to collect 100 Nazi scalps…and “He…wants…his…scalps!” However, I must say the show-stealer in this film was the creepy performance of Christoph Walz as Col. Hans Landa. He really scared the hell out of a person with his cool and quiet, yet psychopathic behavior. It was like watching a bored cat play with a mouse one minute…and then rip it to shreds the next. Awesome and so worth your time. Go see it twice, once to laugh, and once to yell “HELL YEAH!!” at obviously awesome parts of this film. A must see.

Another film I had the pleasure of seeing was Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

This one was cute and inspiring to a certain degree. I feel they stretched the story out, but considering it was a picture book, a great job was still done to say the least. I can’t help but wonder what this film could have been in the right hands, though. It follows the story of Flint Lockwood, an aspiring inventor who, try as he might, can’t get anything to work, and the poor, yet quirky townspeople he resides with usually pay the price when he launches a new invention….the town lives off of sardines until the day Flint invents a machine that makes it rain food. What follows it a funny and cute adventure that’s morals are a little played out, but you can’t help but think you needed to hear them at least once more because they may have been lost in your subconscious amongst the monthly bills, dropping the kids off at school, and that on-your-nerves boss you can’t seem to hide from. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is entertaining for the whole family, although a little creepy at times. (My daughter wanted to make sure I added that.) But I must say I STILL loved the shoes. *wink*

Another great film I got the pleasure of checking out was Zombieland.

This film was just plain great. Not only did it deliver, but it over delivered to the point of hilarity. It was absolutely impossible to go 5 whole minutes without bursting into peals of laughter at something. It follows a ragtag group of zombie-slaying survivors of a virus gone horribly wrong who, amongst some awesome zombie-slaying action at it’s finest, learn to trust each other and depend on each other, and form a sort of family they’d all been secretly looking for behind the tough-guy attitudes they put on. I know people have said it over an over again, but I will say it and make it the umpteenth time: you will LOVE the secret surprise cameo. I was choking on my popcorn I was laughing so hard. And It made me want to whip out my old collection of 80’s movies starring you-know-who and watch them all again. Zombieland. Go see it. Enough said.

Recently I’ve been to see The Box,

which I dread with every fiber of my being. If it was worth the lawyer fees, I’d sue for my 2 hours of life back. The film is supposed to be a mystery-sci-fi throwback, but ends up being a mish-mash of the worst movies ever made. I couldn’t feel a thing for any of the characters, they were all so distant and selfish in their own way, and the story reeked of preachy moral fiber, and we all know what too much fiber does to a person! Basically, it’s starring Cameron Diaz and James Marsden as a married couple in the early 70’s who encounter a mysterious man who gifts them a box with a button on it. He gives the choice of pressing the button, knowing full well the consequences of it being 1. They will receive a million dollars, and 2. Someone in the world will die. Now maybe I’m just used to being poor and happy, but I shut down as soon as the damn button was pushed. It made me hate the characters and feel sad wondering just how many people in the world would do such a thing for their own gain. Turns out I was wondering the exact thing the movie was tirelessly preaching. As the film progressed, it got weirder and weirder and barely comprehendible, and I got more and more interested in whether I could tie a loose string from my pocket all the way around my iphone without breaking it. I feel that the millions spent on that film could have just been thrown from the top of the Sears tower. It would have seen better use that way. I distinctly remember thinking out loud to my movie buddy Caroline, that it would make a real decent short story, but as a movie it was a mess. And Lo and behold, the credits revealed the film was actually based on a short story. Heh, go fig. I may read it, if I have an hour to kill and nothing else to do. I’ll keep my loose pocket string handy then too. By the way, it did fit all the way around my iphone.

And finally we have 2012.

The hype around this film was humongous. And although it was warranted as the special effects were compliment able. I wasn’t fully happy with the ride. It concentrated on the human spirit mostly, and how important it was to never forget your humanity in the face of the possible extinction of humanity. It also cleverly reminded me, Thanks to Oliver Platt’s performance, that in every civilization, there will always be a selfish asshole. Deal with it and be there to laugh at him when he’s all alone on his limb. It was clever in many ways, but the film didn’t deliver the awe and wonder and amazement it had been promising for nearly a year now. Woody Harrelson rocked as the crazy hippie raido broadcaster, however. The film is worth seeing for sure, but just remember, if you don’t see it, it’s not the end of the world. *excuse cheesy pun, I’m tired.*

Anyhow, there you go. I hope this sort of brings to light a few of the good ones over the past couple of months. And of course I’ll be back again with more movie excitement in a few more months. I’m excited for a few hitting theaters in the next few weeks! Take care, everyone, and I’ll see you soon!

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